Well… where to even begin. We are currently home bound with all of this COVID-19/Corona virus spread in our home state of Florida. Jesse and I are both lucky enough to be able to work from home, so we are juggling working our normal schedules, taking care of our baby, and doing home projects and cleaning while we are here in the space anyway. I am fortunate we are continuing to get paid, I am fortunate we still have benefits, and our baby is safe at home, away from strangers and possible infection. Having a medically complex child in these times of crisis is very anxiety inducing. I have lost sleep, I have gotten stressed enough to take rescue medication. I stocked up on my child’s medications from the pharmacy in case they close in the near future. I am constantly weighing the pros and cons between staying home, and going to his appointments and therapy appointments, stuck between knowing that he needs them, and not wanting to risk infection.
In the last several weeks since Clinic, Corbin has made a lot of strides in physical milestones including rolling from back to belly for the first time! He got his physical therapy evaluation and pending insurance approval he will be going to PT at All Children’s twice a week. I was so excited for this to happen, and for him to get proactive help with his gross motor skills, only to be sad and paranoid, knowing that he would be in a facility with lots of strangers, children and adult alike, and whether I would want to risk him being exposed to the virus. I so badly want him to have his sessions, and we are all waiting for guidance, not knowing what the timeline for these CDC recommendations will be. We are limiting contact with the outside, only going to pharmacies and grocers when its not avoidable, going first thing in the morning and promptly leaving. Lots of hand washing, lots of hand sanitizer.
In a way I am very prepared for the social isolation, as less than a year ago I was on strict bed-rest after my fetal surgery. Jesse and I were stuck in our small room at the Ronald McDonald House for almost 18 weeks just the two of us, so we are very used to staying at home together and not going completely stir crazy. We get along, and have a large enough living space that if we need alone time, there are rooms we can go. I have the physical and emotional space to scream and cry, and get frustrated, but also to meditate and pray, and take the space to feel grateful. There are so many people out of work, and struggling, and full of fear, and there are so many medical professionals putting their own health at risk, and doing the best they can to help people through this dark time.
The most frustrating thing I have seen lately is the callous attitude of others who say “It is ONLY the elderly and immunocompromized at risk,” As if.. those people don’t matter? Those fringe groups matter. The elderly matter. Cancer patients matter. Disabled adults and children matter. It is a completely privileged and cruel viewpoint, and completely ableist. YES if I were to contract the virus tomorrow I would be fine, I would recover. But my elderly grandmother would not, my parents may not, my special needs son may not. I am willing to be bored for the next several weeks or MONTHS if it means those people, and others like them get a better shot at not getting infected. People need to look at the bigger picture.
So in the meantime, to try and flatten the curve, I am staying home. My family is staying home. We have been cuddling on the sofa, and cooking together, taking in a lot of family time. Mommy has watched Frozen II about three times already. Disney plus is constantly on in the background.
We are doing our best.
Wishing you love and light,