Well Everyone…What a crazy few weeks we have had! The baby came! Surprise! Our C section was scheduled for the 30th, but our little guy came early, on his own schedule on July 4th, 2019. The picture featured above is the first one taken by my husband after his grand debut! My water broke unexpectedly in the very early morning of the 4th, and by 11am EST we had decided to go ahead and get him out! Little Corbin Angel was born midday around 1:47 pm EST, and we instantly fell in love.
Mommy spent three days inpatient in that SDU and then was released back to the Ronald Mcdonald House. I am feeling pretty good all things considered. Between pumping milk every two hours, and shuttling back and forth to the NICU, I am remiss that it has taken this long to give you all an update! But despite his early arrival, baby is doing very well. He was born at a good weight, Five Pounds and six ounces, his heart and brain are looking great, and we are working on breathing and eating on our own, which is common with premature babies of this gestational age. So far we are emptying both bowels and bladder very well, and our labs have all looked really good! He came out crying, and moving BOTH LEGS! This is especially amazing, as pre birth we were really not sure what his functional mobility would be at in one of his legs. Little one is already crushing expectations and making his parents very proud. We are waiting to be released from the NICU pending certain milestones, and working on transferring his care and making phone calls down in Florida to make sure everything is ready Doctor wise for when we get to go home.
HOME… H-O-M-E… I am SO EXCITED. I cannot WAIT TO GO HOME. I want more than anything to be home with my baby, it makes my heart ache. Our NICU stay, while mild in comparison to many other families, has been so hard on me emotionally. Probably a mix between situational stress, postpartum hormones, and general feelings of displacement and home sickness, I have been quite a mess. I was so used to having my little one… literally inside me and with me at all times, that the transition to having him sleep not only away from me, but in the hospital and hooked up with tubes and monitors was very jarring. Some days are better than others. Some days I am fine, and continue to keep it all together and be a strong mama. Other days I am embarrassed to say that I cry for hours, and get emotional over the distance between me and my baby, and my home. I want so much to be able to nurse him, and take him back to see his family, and puppy brothers and to be back in our family home and town. We are probably in for several more weeks of waiting and NICU time before that is possible, and I am hanging on by a thread. I know I need to suck it up and remember that in the grand scheme of things a few weeks is the blink of an eye, but I just so badly want this chapter to be over. I feel like my entire pregnancy has led to this moment, and I want to be able to move on with our lives (Well at least until we come back for his yearly check up) Everything feels so.. clinical currently, and I am so emotional and in mommy mode and the two just are not meshing.
This kiddo is… CUTE. I know I am biased, but I am TELLING YOU he is the cutest little thing. (Pic below) I never knew I could instantly love another person as much as I love this little guy. I hope he always knows how much I love and would do anything for him. I would go to the ends of the earth for this tiny and perfect human. His smile melts my heart, and sometimes when I look at him I burst into tears. Not out of sadness but out of pure aw and appreciation. I just cant believe he is real, and here, and in my life. Welcome to the world my little Corbin! You are in for a wild ride my love!